Yesterday I found a school notebook, full of flowers and leaves, from when I was a kid, from primary school homework
there
I realized
that they all were missing something
a rose its thorns
a sunflower its leaves
an alstroemeria its colors
a daisy its golden center
a pansy its memories
a jasmine its purity
of the lilies only the branches remained on the paper
but they were all there
after all this time
and it seemed
that despite everything
they had fared well
I began to think
where did they lose
the thorns
the leaves
the colors
the golden heart
the memories
the purity
the branches
I supposed
that one day
like this
they just lost them
and continued like that
all this time
being
roses
sunflowers
alstroemerias
daisies
pansies
jasmines
lilies
throughout my life
I have lost
the thorns that defended me
when there was no more will
and only the gesture
of indifference remained
goodbye
I have lost the leaves of the lived days
counted in withered pasts
that I could no longer live
but through
other leaves
I have lost the colors
in hotel rooms
and I have walked away barefoot
on a path of glass
I have also lost
the heart many times
and slammed doors
when everything tired me out
I have also lost the memories
of all those battles
white
with hangovers
of emptiness and
of nothingness
and I have lost the purity
losing my mind over and over again
it has gone a thousand times
rolling
down stairs
sidewalks
roads
airports
until it disappeared
and so I remained
without thorns
without leaves
without colors
without a heart
without memories
without purity
without branches
and I have told myself then
that despite time
and despite everything
I have fared well
so I have entered
broken
into a primary school notebook
of a grown child
and I have started to wait
for you to come
open it and ask yourself
how
when
where
was it
that I lost all this
that I’m missing
and maybe then
You
only You
will start to look for
all of that
for me